I’m scared of a lot of things.  Things that I shouldn’t be scared of.

I’m scared of noises in the dark, because I never know what could be out there.

I’m scared that I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone, and that’s never good.

I’m scared that I’m going to fail.

There are a lot more, but that’s all for now.  Right now the thing that I am most afraid of is what I am going to do next year.  I want to stay at UALR and continue to be a resident assistant, but I don’t know if I can afford to.  However, I know that I can’t afford to live off campus.  I also can’t afford to live at home and commute everyday.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.

It’s starting to become clear that I might need to take a year off from school to work and save up money so that I can come back.  However, I know that most people who take a year off won’t actually come back.  That scares me because I want to graduate from college but right now I can’t afford it.

I have a scholarship at UALR, however now that we are required to have meal plans I’m not going to have the extra money that I usually have.  I still have to pay for my piece of crap car that is going to fall apart any day now.  I still have medical bills that I have to pay because I have no health insurance.  I also have to buy a new computer because mine only turns on when it feels like it.

I still have no idea what I’m going to do and that scares me.  I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to figure it all out.  I’m stressed and I know that I shouldn’t be, but I just can’t help it.