“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

I have a club called the “Negative Nancy Club.”  As of right now, there are two people in this club.  We enjoy being in this club and make the best of it, even though most of the time we are, well, very negative about things.  And when I say things…I mean everything actually.  The only thing we aren’t negative about is the fact that we have this club.

I am not a happy-go-lucky person, however I am trying to be more positive about my life.  It’s been very hard this year.  My year started off great and then quickly turned sour.  Since then it has been hard for me to do anything.  I have lost friends, I have lost interest in things that I love, in other words, I have become depressed.

I was diagnosed depressed when I was 14, but that doesn’t mean that I let it get the best of me, in fact it was quite the opposite.  I honestly forgot that some doctor told me that I was severely depressed, that was until I realized that I was.  I stopped talking to people, and honestly I stopped caring about anything and everything.  Nothing was going right in my life so why should I care.  And when something would turn around for the better it was quickly shot down and I would return to my depressed stage.

This semester I decided that I didn’t want to depressed anymore.  I want to be happy, but honestly, I don’t know what that is anymore.  Like I said anytime something good happens to be, it’s followed by a week of stress, sleepless nights, and arguments with people that I love.

I’m tired of it!

"So long sad times Go long bad times We are rid of you at last Howdy gay times Cloudy gray times You are now a thing of the past Happy days are here again The skies above are clear again So let's sing a song of cheer again Happy days are here again"

I want to be happy.  The only problem is I have no idea how to be happy.  I’ve tired to figure it out, but I’m learning that it’s not something I can figure out.  It just comes to you.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is I want to be happy, and I’m going to try to be more positive, BUT I can’t make any promises.